Effervescent Effe

Pest problems? Little bugs all up in your house that you can't get rid of?
Call Effe!

(XXX) XXX-XXXX

I will:
• Kill them
• Kill them
• Eliminate them
• Get rid of them
• Wasps? They're gone.
• Exterminate them all
• Rats? Dead
• No more bother for you!
• Use pesticides
• Not use pesticides
• Live capture
• Dead capture
• Sacrifice the pests to any being of your choice
• Death rites
• Kill them

Want to know your fate? What the future holds for you?
Call Effe!

(XXX) XXX-XXXX

I can:
• Do tarot
• Do tea readings
• Speak to ghosts
• Read your cat's mind
• Repeat your dead deadbeat dad's words to you as he speaks them to me
• Tell your dead aunt that you miss her
• Change your fate
• Tell you how to avoid your inevitable death
• Let you know if your affections are reciprocated
• Recite the prophecy featuring you
• Foretell your death
  (instructions on avoiding it cost extra)
• Tell your cat you love them